{"title":"Awful Gift Ideas","description":"\u003cp\u003eOhh we know, you'll have to remember the less-liked relatives too. Here, let us help with our collection of gag gift ideas. Some of these are just awful gifts. Most of the products in this category are \u003ca href=\"\/en\/collections\/military-surplus\"\u003emilitary surplus gear\u003c\/a\u003e, so the prices aren't too high, but laughs are guaranteed.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"swedish-track-suit-pants-blue-surplus","title":"Swedish Track Suit Pants, Blue, Surplus","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot get mycket bättre Swedish sports pants than these! Apparently. The color is simply stunning, and the fabric stretches at homeopathic efficiency. You may not be able to do any vandammesque moves in these without a sudden assrip effect but on the other hand you can bask in the glow of your friends’ envy. Bear in mind that we also have a glorious matching \u003ca href=\"\/en\/product\/swedish-track-suit-jacket-blue-surplus\/76671\"\u003ejacket\u003c\/a\u003e to go with these. Get your spouse a similar set and you can Nordic stick walk together until the end of time looking like the perfect unit you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese are simple downwards tapering electric blue lightweight sports pants that come with a velcro back pocket and a drawcord adjustment around the waist plus zippers at the ankles. We have no idea how old these are but lookswise anything from the 60s to 80s. However, knowing how the army works, these might torment the grunts even today.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eUse\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003eDespite what you may think, these are sporting pants because the matching jacket says \"för sport och fritid\", which means for sport and leisure time. We do recommend sticking to less explosive sports. But your legs will look quite dashing while you do you in these.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eCondition\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eUsed Swedish military surplus. The condition varies to some extent. Some seem completely unused, some have small signs of use, such as tiny patch jobs and little stains. However, these are all serviceable and washed, so they don’t smell of Swedish soldiers, which brings down the price quite a lot. You won’t find this pretty military pants anywhere so get ‘em while you can.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sweden","offers":[{"title":"Blue \/ 1","offer_id":51828414513491,"sku":"76680","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 2","offer_id":51828414546259,"sku":"76681","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 3","offer_id":51828414579027,"sku":"76682","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 4","offer_id":51828414611795,"sku":"76683","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 5","offer_id":51828414644563,"sku":"76684","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 6","offer_id":51828414677331,"sku":"76685","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 7","offer_id":51828414710099,"sku":"76686","price":14.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0962\/1952\/9555\/files\/swedish_sport_trousers_blue_surplus-064f7240faf770.jpg?v=1782213511"},{"product_id":"swedish-track-suit-jacket-blue-surplus","title":"Swedish Track Suit Jacket, Blue, Surplus","description":"\u003cp\u003eHärregud how jättefin smurf blue jacket from the Neon Ages of the army fashion of our western neighbor. In Sweden, they clearly know how to make army sports more Abba. When you wear this in anything more strenuous than Nordic stick walking, you will get -10 on your performance but you will at least double your charisma. We also have equally delightful \u003ca href=\"\/en\/product\/swedish-track-suit-pants-blue-surplus\/76679\"\u003epants\u003c\/a\u003e. Get your spouse the same set and you will finally look like you live in harmony.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eFeätures\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is a light zippered jacket that has two breast pockets with a velcro closure and one zippered pocket down on the right. Elastic cuffs and fairly high elastic collar. We have no idea how old these are but lookswise anything from the 60s to 80s. However, knowing how the army works, these might torment the grunts even today.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eUse\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003eOfficially this is a track suit jacket because it says \"för sport och fritid\", which means for sport and leisure time, but we would emphasize the latter part. You will look damn sexy when strolling down the streets wearing this. You will without a doubt get laid… off at least. Then again, these might improve your training because being pissed off at your crappy sportswear will get your adrenaline levels higher.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eCondition\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eUsed Swedish military surplus. The condition varies to some extent. Some seem completely unused, some have small signs of use, such as tiny patch jobs and little stains. However, these are all serviceable and washed, so they don’t smell of Swedish soldiers, which brings down the price quite a lot. One day your soul will weep bitter tears if you don’t get yourself this beauty.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sweden","offers":[{"title":"Blue \/ 1","offer_id":51828414742867,"sku":"76672","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 2","offer_id":51828414775635,"sku":"76673","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 3","offer_id":51828414808403,"sku":"76674","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 4","offer_id":51828414841171,"sku":"76675","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 5","offer_id":51828414873939,"sku":"76676","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 6","offer_id":51828414906707,"sku":"76677","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue \/ 7","offer_id":51828414939475,"sku":"76678","price":17.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0962\/1952\/9555\/files\/swedish_sport_jacket_blue_surplus-064f71bc7dbfc2.jpg?v=1782213516"},{"product_id":"dutch-eccentric-unisex-swim-pants-blue-surplus","title":"Dutch Eccentric Unisex Swim Pants, Blue, Surplus","description":"\u003cp\u003eLo and behold, how epic unisex swimwear from the golden eighties. High waist and gender-neutral cut make these a guaranteed hit on the beach. Also an excellent choice for a superhero. Put these on top of the merino wool base layer, and captain Armageddon is ready to sweep the shady streets clean of crime! There is but one obstacle when it comes to their world domination. They are predominantly comfortable  on undead amphibious troops and pixies.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Dutch Navy boldly sails where no swimwear designer has sailed before. These don’t have the cup in the front where the male bits normally go. Yet the cut isn’t that traditionally feminine either, so these might be unisex in nature, bringing on board some military equality, where everybody is equally miserable. Well-endowed gentlemen will feel an erotic S\/M squeeze in their nether region. In the vanilla world, mostly recommended for women and  male sports car enthusiasts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe waist is high, which seems to be in fashion again. Might not be anymore next month, so act fast. These don’t take that much space in the closet, so then you can keep them there until the next fashion purge. Or say bollocks to that and wear them all the time no matter what the fashion goblins whine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe found at least the years 1989 and 1990 on the tags, but there might be others as well. Luckily the style doesn’t change from year to year.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eMaterials\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese are as synthetic as the 80s pop music, this time made from 100% polyamide. The fabric is deep blue in color, pretty close to the calm sea on a warm summer evening. It has that lovely rough old-time feel like the salt-scented caress of a ruggedly handsome sailor on the Bay of Biscay in the days of yore.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: inherit; font-family: inherit;\"\u003eCondition\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eDutch navy surplus. The condition varies to some extent. These are used and decades old but in very good condition for their age. No extra holes or nuthin’. Since these are clean, we have been able to keep the price very affordable. The market for used dirty underwear is pretty brutal and prices sky high as you might know.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Netherlands","offers":[{"title":"Blue \/ 5","offer_id":51828530151763,"sku":"75528","price":3.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 6","offer_id":51828530184531,"sku":"75529","price":0.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0962\/1952\/9555\/files\/5907064144da33e024.jpg?v=1782213541"},{"product_id":"czechoslovakian-m60-backpack-w-o-suspenders-brown-surplus","title":"Czechoslovakian M60 backpack, w\/o suspenders, brown, surplus","description":"\u003cp\u003eA small, brown canvas or linen backpack from Czechoslovakia. These are probably made in the earlier part of the Cold War, copied almost directly from the German World War 2 era rucksack. Actually a pretty nice piece, especially considering the price! The Y-straps are not included!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCzechoslovakia kept the old tradition of copying western (especially German) stuff alive even under red pressure. The overall design looks very familiar to anyone who knows their Wehrmacht kit, most obviously the attachment system is reversed: rings on the backpack, hooks on the Y-harness. The harness is sold separately, some might not need them or need only them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eVolume maybe 20 litres \/ 1200 in\u003csup\u003e3\u003c\/sup\u003e, with two smaller outer pockets. No frame on this, but you can slide in a piece of a foam mat in the internal pocket for support.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThe included Y-harness is designed to keep your belt kit up, but this feature is redundant for most users and makes normal use difficult. A neat trick is to bend the metal hook thingies \"shut\" if you have no need to take them off. Alternatively, you can tie the hooks to the rings with pieces of string. Failing to do this will cause misery every time you put the pack down and a hook comes undone.\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003ch2\u003ePractical use\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eCompared to modern rucksacks, this little thing might look a bit archaic, but it's genuine vintage stuff made to military specs so it won't be falling apart anytime soon. If you enjoy modern features and advances in anatomic design, look for something else. For a bit of a crusty person who doesn't give a shit, or if you have a good eye for fashion, this is a must-have.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eCzech army surplus\u003c\/h2\u003e  \u003cp\u003eUsed, but in good serviceable condition. One day these will be gone forever, get yours while still available!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Czechoslovakia","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51830308897107,"sku":"6173","price":15.99,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0962\/1952\/9555\/files\/6173.jpg?v=1757317201"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0962\/1952\/9555\/collections\/14145c065c58e613a.jpg?v=1757259519","url":"https:\/\/varustilika.com\/en-bg\/collections\/awful-gift-ideas.oembed","provider":"Varusteleka","version":"1.0","type":"link"}